The beginning of an end, Goodbyes are hard.

For the past six years, i’ve been looking forward to one thing and that is leaving . Leaving the school I resisted calling ‘home.’, leaving the school that scarred me and the people that broke me. Leaving everything behind and starting afresh, a new environment… That’s all i wanted. Funny how its in these last days I’ve come to see the beauty in it all and maybe i’ve come to be gullible and let myself be pulled in by it all. In these last days, i’ve learnt to do everything I held myself back from and now  I’m not scared of getting hurt anymore. This is the happiest i’ve been in the past six years. I w0nder why its coming now or maybe my school has decided not to leave a bitter mark. I’ve come to love the school and its hypocrisy, the deceit, shallow-mindedness , unfairness and everything else embedded in its crumbling walls. With time, I realized what i feared most was basically on the surface, everything was coated . With time, I began to see the cracks and just like our society… everything was all about ‘packaging’ .  This is the beginning of an end, old foes become good friends, good friends become true friends. You realize the truth is never the truth. You realize everyone changes with time and that drama is irrelevant. you realize no one is ever done discovering who they are because no one ever grows up completely. you’ll learn that you will always want more and its impossible  for you to be satisfied or for you to ever satisfy anyone else. You succumbed to peer pressure and overcame or you may still be bearing the consequences. Yes, high school taught me you will go through all types of shit in this life, people will bring you down but nothing lasts forever, how you let that affect your future and who you are is totally your decision. Goodbyes are hard i know, especially when its final. This goodbye is different because at the end of summer, we will not all be in class talking about the summer but be in our different schools, looking back at these glory days. This goodbye is different because i will never see seventy five percent of the people i know now. This goodbye is hard because i just began some hello’s. Old paths may never cross again but for some, this goodbye ain’t even close to the end. We’re done with exams and we’re making memories for ourselves, so in these last days, cherish every moment and who you spend it with, rebuild friendships and right wrongs, try to get as many laughs as possible .. do whatever that will make this goodbye hurt less. Honestly, only a few matter, only a few ever did, we were just dumb enough  to chase after what didn’t but its high school! hopefully we passed through it and it didn’t pass through us . xx


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